NOTICE: If you do not feel like wasting your time reading something that involves complaining, I highly recommend you do not read this. Also there is foul language in this rant so please do not be offended
Do you ever feel like you are a bad person? When everything in your life is perfect and you are happy to live in it? Yes, this does happen from time to time, but what makes it end? In my case it's me being a dumb-ass!
It starts out just as I described with life being as near perfect as it gets: decent grades, friends, things to look forward to, and admiration from your parents. All it takes to fuck up your perfect life is 1 bad choice. A choice which then leads you to start acting a lot more stupid. It starts small such as not doing a homework assignment. However from here, you get used to it and the assignments get bigger and bigger until eventually you are leaving huge projects until the day before it is due, because you “can't find the rubric,” This means the job you end up doing is less than perfect and effects your grade terribly. Only with the help of your parents are you able to recover and your life is perfect again. However if you are me than instead of thanking them you go and make it worse.
Your parents save the day by helping you improve your grades imensively, and you then decide to disrespect their one rule they lay down in order to improve your grades. Only 1 hour of computer per day; it seems reasonable at first, however in the depts of your mind, you are a bit skeptical. However this is not your choice as they are your parents and they decide what you do. You accept and it works well for about 2 days. You then start going on social media networks because they are only slightly inforced.
You are caught. Your parents being extremely respectful, and generous let it go and give you a warning. You then strect their limits further and decide to watch the most educational video you can find in your subscritions box on youtube.
You get caught again. This time your parents, still being generous, tell you that you can't play tomorrow, but will be back to normal the next day. I'm sure it is obvious where this is going.
Yep, you decide you don't give a fuck about what your parents ask.You decide to be sneaky and watch youtube because “they won't notice”. Being misleaded you watch a short video and then a long and mindless one.
As you should have expected, you get caught. You hear your dad's footsteps coming and you quickly try to open the only page they will allow you on, but it is far, far, infinitely far too late. Long story short, you get caught yet again. What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results each time. In my life that means getting on the computer when I know I am not allowed and defying my parents. I have now done this far more times than it is even possible to count; each time getting overflown with guilt and losing all of your parents' trust. This is when you get to the point that the only thing you can do is write, because anything else you think about doing would make things a lot worse.
So here we are, not knowing what is to come and if I am going to fuck up yet again. Although I always hoping the time I keep getting busted will be the very last time. However this has never been true in the past and is almost impossible. It almost seems as though it doesn't matter.
This is the cycle of my life with my parents. Or at least the bad side. Any time besides this one is pleasant and in fact awesome. Even when I start screwing up a little bit, my parents are there to support me and save the day. Even after catching me going against them, it still only takes about 30 minutes for them to come give me a speech about how they love me, and will always.
I love them and could never repay them enough for that. Just owning me as a family member with love is a lot, despite the fact that it is not unusual. They go the extra mile and remain proud of me even in my bad moments, and are always on my side.
This is why I am able to reach that previously stated peak, where I feel like everything is perfect. This peak can last a long time and make screwing up a small rule seem like the end of the world. It is not. There are way worse things to do and my God I am happy as I am.